We have all been there, that first day in Ramadan where we are set on making it a beneficial month and convinced that this time around you will finally lose weight, that is until you are 12 hours down and Mommy dearest shows up with dripping machboos*1 and sugar loaded Vimto, all of a sudden all your plans go to hell. Does this version of your new moon resolution sound about right?
*1Machboos: Extreme portion of oil*2 on a dish enhanced with spoons of rice specifically designed to induce the phenomenon known as Balloon Belly.
*2size proportionate to create a swimming pool, that is if you like swimming in corn oil. I’m sure there is a new concept for tanning lotion in there somewhere.
This article will outline simple tips for starting out your weight loss process on the right track while helping you avoid the common pitfalls faced during this challenge.
Getting in shape can’t be just a whim after seeing a shirtless dude run around in one of your favorite TV shows. You need to evaluate your reasons for getting yourself into this. The first thing I ask anybody is why they are doing this, and I make sure that they are aware of it, because this may be the only factor that will keep you going so make it a good one.
- Good Support Team:
You are changing the very fabric of your being, or at least the blubber surrounding your beautiful aura. Therefore you need to get your closest friends involved so they can cheer you on to the finish line. So go on call your gardener and tell him your plans. If you don’t have a garden then go talk to the dude at the cold store I’m sure he will be more than happy to stop selling you Coke and Twix.
- Do Your homework!:
Some of the diets I’ve heard of really make me laugh as they are nothing but torture and yield zero results. Someone (I won’t tell them its you Aunty) once actually told me that their breakfast was a bunch of dates and a cup of coffee. Excellent, you’ve gained absolutely nothing by doing this. You might as well have dressed up in pink fuzz and plastered ‘energizer’ on you on your way to work, but it’s a shame you will only be that way for about 10 minutes. Some of these myths are absolutely ridiculous!
There is no way you will get effective results if you keep listening to your peers who insist that you should have ‘just one bite’ of something they are trying. That’s why the good support team highlighted above is required. These little cheats add up, and alter your insulin levels, metabolism and everything you’ve ever worked on. Working out to pig out on junk simply doesn’t work. This is a new you, and those around you need to understand that and accept your seriousness in adapting this new lifestyle.
- Giving up too quickly:
You are going to be doing things you normally haven’t done before, so of course your body is going to rebel at first. Excuse me if the healthy sandwich you just had didn’t trim your waistline but your going to have to do this more than once if you want to see changes. It irks me when people tell me “Jee Mo, I tried going to the gym in the morning once before work but I just can’t do it”. Results don’t happen overnight folks, so you need to be aware of this and once you start, charge forward and ignore the signals that are telling you that this isn’t for you.
- Setting the Bar too high:
Easy there tiger. Just because the ‘steroid man’ sitting on the bench beside you is benching the weight of your bosses ego doesn’t mean that its okay for you to lift that much just yet (or ever, depending on your goals). This links to the crazy diets I mentioned above. Starving yourself is counter intuitive and only induced your body to go into catabolic state (bad for your muscles, metabolism and ends up dumping all your efforts in the trash can. Progression is key if you want to keep the weight off safely and forever (wedding vows much?)
Sometimes your gardener just isn’t around to cheer you through the last set. This is when you need to say “Hey (say your name here minus the explicative) get off your butt and do this!”. It is a human instinct to desire self-improvement*3, and two things usually happen when we want to make a change in our lives. We start with the highly inspired feeling when the resolution is first made, however when pressed against the wall, we begin to look nervously at the future and begin to doubt if we can actually attain our goals. It is at this moment that you need to be self-motivated as ever and keep moving forward. This is a journey where you need to distinguish the difference between excuses and results because you can’t have both.
*3grown men living in their mother’s basement*4 playing warcraft do not apply to this rule
*4 do we even have basements in Bahrain?